Happy 46, belated

With all this COVID-19 if forgot to make my birthday post for my 46th birthday. It should have been in April.

Short summary: 

I definitely look older than 40. 

I have 6 gray hairs, in the temple areas, quite symmetrical. 

I feel great. 

I really don't like wearing a mask when  I have to talk a lot. 

I am too lazy to customize my mask. Maybe I am not lazy. When I was in the 4th grade I had to learn how to saw a mask (cold war times). And the mask I made had to pass a test. Of course my hand-made masks were great then but because it is connected to the obligatory school stuff, I don't want to do it again. I will have to express my individuality some other way. 

I still wear very high heels. 

My weight is stable for the last 2 years (after I figured out the secret).

My rosacea is gone (after I figured out another secret). 

I definitely don't have the "Superman syndrome" (when you try to help others even if they didn't ask). But I probably have the "Hercules syndrome" (when you try to solve unsolvable puzzles). Since I solved the weight and the rosacea puzzles, I am looking for a new one.  

Based on the Kurpatov's classification I am constructor-reflector which is a great combination. I am likely constructor predominant. It feels like constructor is taking over with age. 

Majority of the information we have around us is lies. Digging very deep is necessary to get to the truth. Only few of us dig. Probably mostly those who have "Hercules syndrome".  

     

Second wave - Corona diary 6

Most states have lifted the restrictions for about one month now. 

The news are flashing with "Record numbers of new COVID-19 cases". 

But what does the data say? How bad is this second wave? 

New cases in USA (from www.worldometers.com): 

 

Yes, the cases are rising. But what about deaths? 

They are not rising. 

Why are they not rising? 

The first peak of the positive case numbers was about the April 4. In that time the deaths were about half way to the first peak which was on April 18. That seems to give a lag time of 14 days. 

Now we have more testing capacities and that contributes to the positive case numbers. I don't know how to explain the low death numbers. So far the rising case numbers are not translating into rising deaths.

I hope it is obvious to the people in power that the economy cannot be shut down again. 

Traveling is difficult. Business bankruptcies are rising. 

The meat has almost doubled in price and it feels as a serious inflation.

The economic effects of the recent shut down are not fully there yet. There are talks about the "eviction moratorium" which should extend until March 2021. Good for people who can't pay rent but what about the landlords? 

Yes, the second wave of the economic stress is coming.  

  

    

Why are we so secretive about our finances?

M. asked me: Why do we have to be so secretive with our friends or family members about our finances?

When we are secretive, it means we feel like we have to hide something. But why would we hide? 

Generally, consciously or subconsciously, we sort all our personal contacts based on 2 criteria: usefulness and potential danger.

 
Here are the examples: 

How useful or dangerous someone is, is defined by the resources the target person possesses. 

Money is  one of the main resources. 
Let's take an interaction between two people. If the level of wealth is about the same, sharing the information about it doesn't appear very dangerous. 
If there is a dis-balance and one site has significantly less resources, the sharing may have consequences. 

It might be that the person with less resources decides to aggressively take some of yours. Or the person might put you into a situation that you will feel that you have to share those resources even if you natural inclination is not to share. It can be done trough manipulations like making you feel guilty. "Just because you have more you have to share, it doesn't matter that you worked harder to get there".    
A normal good friendship is based on balance. 

I am not talking about abnormal friendships which are based on secondary psychological gains. For example someone keeps a poor looser friend and constantly helps him financially. The secondary gain in this case is to feel as a "better person" and to pay off the moral guilt. The moral guilt is usually brought on by abusive family members, or religious businesses.

The normal friendship without secondary gains is balanced. The balance makes the relationship harmless because there is no danger of appearing significantly weaker or stronger. The possibility of being manipulated out of some of your resources is very small. 

We choose our friends. 
We don't choose our family. The resources in the family will be unevenly distributed. If you feel the strong social pressure to keep in contact with your relatives, you will constantly feel some of the dis-balance. 

For example you have an abusive mother whose finances are not in a good shape. In the square above she falls into category of useless and dangerous but you can't stop the socially obligated contact. By hiding the information about your financial recourse you protect yourself. 

If you have a brother ho is not abusive but is not in a good financial situation and he is not asking you for money, his category might be useless and not dangerous. Here some people can feel guilty for their own success and feel that they have to even out the situation, even though a situation like that can never be evened out. 
Some would offer money, some would hide the information about the finances. Some may even pretend that they also have financial troubles, to make the financial situation less clear.  Lying about your finances is another way of protection. What protection works best is situational. Sometimes it is better just not to talk, sometimes it is better to lie. In a contact with an abusive/manipulative person lying is completely justified. As soon as the other site starts using unfair methods, you are released from the rule of playing fair.  

I summary, it will always be difficult to have a relaxed connection if there is a dis-balance of resources. 

If you accept that it is normal to protect yourself and accept the fact that you don't have to play fair with manipulative people, it will make your life easier.